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A Dungeon Etiquette Skit
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By:
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Ms_Verijaa
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Category:
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Humor & Satire
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Date:
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Aug 31 2010, 3:07 am
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A Dungeon Etiquette Skit
Performed at Leatherwoods, 2010 Opening Ceremonies.
Dominate Ultimate Master Bull’s monologue, by Lady Papillon with editing by entire cast. Back ground skit was a collaborative effort of all involved.
Cast:
Dominate Ultimate Master Bull – Old Mech
Serious Dominant – Ms. Verijaa
Serious sub – Verijaa’s satyr
Obnoxious Dominant – Master D
Obnoxious sub – slave L
Opening scene:
Dominate Ultimate Master Bull stands at the front of the crowd, next to a white board with his name written on it. He is dressed in mismatched leathers with floggers sticking out of his pockets here and there and oversized cuffs rolled in his too-big leather chaps. Off to one side and behind him is a massage table and some nearby tables for equipment, supplies, etc. A single toy bag is sitting on the table next to the massage table.
As Master Bull begins reading, Serious Dominant and sub quietly take their places, the sub on the massage table and the D opening the toy bag and beginning a mild warm-up.
Monologue:
Welcome to Leatherwoods. I am Dominate Ultimate Master Bull. I have been watching porn since I was 14, and have been very interested in the BDSM scene for nearly a year now. Having spent lots of time in the online chat rooms for the past several months, I am proud to say that I learned a lot from others there. The bottoms in those chat rooms, some of them REAL SLAVES, vie for my attention and I go through about five virtual collars a week. I have also attended Fetish Nights at the local night club several times, and have even gone to a real dungeon once an watched folks play for more than an hour. As a keen observer, I think I’ve got all the SCENE ETIQUETTE stuff down pretty well now, and I wrote this list. Here are the things I have found to be the most important things to do when attending a dungeon party or event. Follow these, and in no time you will have the reputation as a TRUE Dominate or True slave, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a leader in your community.
1. When you go into a dungeon, be sure to take big bags full of all of the toys you own. If you don’t own many yet, fake it with empty bags or bags stuffed with aftercare blankets. You must look the part! Another thing to remember about creating your image is to spread out the bags and toys all around your play station. You can also use any nearby play equipment to give the illusion that you are a major player, deserve to use the dungeon all at once if you want to, and you are an expert with many toys.
Skit:
The Obnoxious D comes tromping up dragging his sub on a leash. She’s carrying multiple toy bags including being bent under an over-sized backpack while he is carrying a massage table. They walk right through the Serious D’s scene, loudly dropping their various bags and the table right next to me (the Serious D). They proceed to set up their gear, even dropping one of the bags next to my sub’s head and another between his legs while setting up their own table. I protest, spreading my arms in a “what the fuck?” gesture, dropping their bags back on the ground and looking rather floored at the bad behavior.
Monologue:
2. We all have to start someplace in our lifestyle. You’ve seen pictures and heard rumors and stories about all sorts of weird sexy stuff, so just imagine how you think it might actually be done. Then, go for it. As a newcomer, remember that you can “fake it til you make it”. If you think you may need more training or information, just walk up close to a scene already in progress and join in. It’s informative to mimic the words and actions of the Top in action. You may even put your body up close against the Top. Place your hand over the Top’s so that you can actually feel exactly how he swings a flogger. Next, try putting your hand over the place his whip or flogger is striking, so you can see just how hard the bottom is really being hit. If you are not comfortable with touching others, just strike up a conversation and ask lots of questions. Approach the Top as an equal and you will get more respect. If you are curious about toys you see around the dungeon, just help yourself and give it a try. The Top who is in a scene and discovers that her favorite flogger has “disappeared” will understand and be flattered that you found her toy to be interesting.
Don’t try new things for the first time at a dungeon party or play party! You should try all that stuff at home, so that if there is a lot of blood, loss of consciousness, or something goes really wrong like hitting the bottom in the eye with a whip, nobody will know except for the paramedics and you will not have hurt your reputation in the kink community. Don’t worry about the bottom who suffers at your hands. If the bottom is new, he or she is fair game for all manner of experimentation. The bottom will not want to be embarrassed by the fact that they “couldn’t take it”, and they won’t say a word! Just to be on the safe side, tell them that others will ridicule them if they speak badly about any top. Avoid experienced bottoms who may feel otherwise. Newbie bottoms should expect to have rough treatment as a sort of “initiation” into BDSM.
Skit:
The Obnoxious D and s continue following along with the suggestions in the monologue. He walked right up behind me, the Serious D, and watched over my shoulder, then grabbed my hand and swung with me, moving my hand for me until I shook him off and sent him with suitable outrage back to his own bottom once more. He grabbed one of my paddles from my hand and started whacking his own sub with it (it was a particularly nasty pointed heavy leather strap) and she yelled “OUCH” and came off the table glaring at him, then started pestering my sub about how it feels to him and if he likes it. I yanked my toy back out of his hand and swung it at him, then went back to playing with my own sub.
Monologue:
3. Remember who’s boss. You are the Top. You are infallible. If anything goes wrong in the scene, it is probably the bottom’s fault for moving at the wrong time or because of shoddy dungeon equipment. Never take the blame yourself, it makes you appear weak, dumb, and foolish. Remember … you are infallible. If the bottom didn’t do anything wrong, blame it on the Dungeon Master or on anyone but yourself.
4. All of those safety measures you may have heard about are just nonsense. Don’t bother to take a first aid kit with you. Bottoms all love pain, and you needn’t concern yourself over their injuries. In addition, you don’t really need an assistant or spotter for fire play. The goal is to burn the person, right? Just pour lots of fuel all over them and touch them off. It’ll scare that bottom big time and gain you a lot of respect! Once the bottom has had some anesthetic to dull the pain, they’ll be proud of each blister, scar and skin graft you leave them with. Such permanent marks are considered to be like a merit badge in the kink community, and the bottom and top will both gain respect. Also, don’t worry about fluid borne pathogens. People expect to be exposed to them these days, and will take the chance of scening with you whether you are infected or not. In addition, don’t worry about contaminating other people’s toys. It’s a hazard of our lifestyle.
Skit:
The Obnoxious D continues his rampage, dropping things and yelling at his sub, and turning and jostling our play space to make room. Then he took a rubbing alcohol bottle and as I was turned away changing toys, and starting dumping it over my sub’s feet. I turned back and ran him off as he protested he was “just doing some fire play!” I told him to do it to his own bottom then. He shrugged and proceeded to dump the rest of the bottle over her, then started fumbling with a lighter. Thankfully he couldn’t get it lit. (The bottle was full of water, of course).
Monologue:
5.Whether you are an old or new Top, always try to be the first to play with the inexperienced new bottom who is curious and very cautious. If you are not so skilled or knowledgeable as you want folks to believe, remember that newbies are so dumb that they won’t know the difference if you screw up. Above all, Do Not Negotiate, especially with a newbie. It gets in the way of your fun. In addition, safewords are just plain silly. Don’t offer one to a new player. However, whether your bottom is a newbie or an experienced player, IF they ask for a designated safe word, ALWAYS agree. It will give the bottom a false sense of security. Then, once they are immobilized, don’t pay attention if the safe word is used. Make them say it at least five times before you respond by saying “Did I hear a safeword? Are you sure? Perhaps you should repeat it a little louder next time.” The important thing here is to gain experience and expand everyone’s limits and capabilities, including yours, and as quickly as possible.
Skit:
Obnoxious sub calls red as the wet cold “alcohol” gets dumped over her head, and is ignored several times as I protest and begin to move toward her, but he stopped and was distracted to another toy before I needed to confront him.
Monologue:
6. Now, once you get to the play party or dungeon, there are certain things you can do to impress others with the fact that you are a REAL DOMINATE or REAL SUBMISSIVE. How you are perceived by your local community and the community at large is due in large part to your reputation. Appearances account for about 90% of your success. Reputation is a combination of how you look and how you sound, and if you play it right, you’ll soon have an image as a first rate player. Actual skills will or will not come in time, but if you make a good show, it’s just as good. A REAL SUBMISSIVE can be seen as fodder for your sadistic sexual fantasies, Don’t believe them when they tell you they want to scene just for the adrenaline or endorphin rush. Sex is why we’re all here, and you should always try to get your own needs satisfied. A REAL SUB expects to be used, insulted, and hurt. Don’t disappoint them.
7. Don’t make the mistake of gagging your bottom when playing at a party or dungeon. When you are playing, you are expected to make a lot of noise by loudly cracking a whip while shouting threats and insults at your bottom. In turn, your bottom should cultivate the ability to weep, wail, moan and have really showy orgasms at maximum decibels. This way, the two of you get a lot of attention. It’s even better if you’re so loud that all other play stops when you start. Gags are only for use at home, where the neighbors might hear you and call the cops. Everyone knows that making a lot of noise and taking up a lot of space lets everyone know which top is working hardest at being sadistic and which sub is taking the most abuse.
Skit:
Obnoxious Dom continues with his play, changing toys and positions and yelling at his sub and humping her face like a crazed sadistic chipmunk with ADD as she yells and moans and puts great amounts of melodrama into reacting to him. Eventually he backs into my massage table and tries to shove it over with his hip and I swing my flogger at him and yell at him to stay out of my space. We snipe back and forth as he continues his erratic and noisy play.
Monologue:
8. Be helpful. Critique and comment upon scenes in progress. People will gladly give up their groove, their Dom or sub space, and interrupt the flow of their scene in order for you to correct or criticize. It’s just one way of learning from each other. If a scene appears to you to be going too fast or too slow, step in. Perhaps you only need to begin a conversation with the top or bottom to explain things to them, but if things look really slow to you, just reach in and tweak a nipple or a cock to keep the bottom on their toes. If you think the scene is to rough, just walk up and deck the top. He or she will get the idea that you think they have crossed your line of approval.
Skit:
The Obnoxious Dom turns to me and begins critiquing my scene, I’m going to slow. He swats my sub and pinches his nipple, and grabs my hand and forces it to a faster rhythm. When I shake him off and tell him off, sending him back to his own sub he shrugs and acts like he doesn’t know what my problem is. I go back to my own sub and grab his hair and start getting up close and intense with him, and the Obnoxious one comes back yelling at me to stop that, and raising his fists. I raise mine back and we yell and threaten for a minute before going back to our own subs.
Monologue:
9. Whether bottom, sub, or slave, once one takes on that role they are up for grabs from any and all people in the dungeon. One is up for grabs, deserves no respect, and shouldn’t expect it. The mark of a good True Bottom is a lack of self esteem, just as the mark of a True Master is the trail of broken toys, both inanimate and human, that he or she leaves behind.
Skit:
The Obnoxious One continues to occasionally pinch and swat at my sub along with his, and when I protest shrugs and says “It’s just a sub, why so freaking uptight?” He finally “breaks” a paddle and tosses it down, yelling at his sub for making him break it.
Monologue:
10. When you are finished with your scene, don’t clean up your play station or give your bottom any aftercare. Leave your toys wherever they fall, and leave sweat, blood, tears, cum, lube, and used condoms on and around the station. After all, you may want a cigarette or a cool drink, and you, as a Top, are the most important person there. Your girl can get her own blanket and glass of water and find another sub to take care of her wounds. All the toys and residue you leave at the play station give visual testament to your fabulous scene. REMEMBER! You are a Top, and as such you are far above such menial cleanup work. Some submissive bitch will come along and clean up after you because that’s what subs are for.
Skit:
The Obnoxious Dom drops his last toy and just walks away, leaving his beaten and wet sub laying on the table, while I bend down and comfort my boy, stroking his hair and his arms. I put my toys away, as I had been all along so my area is neat and clean. My sub sits up and I wrap the towel he was laying on around him while I clean the table with the nearby wipes. The other sub gets up from the wet table (leaving tit prints in the moisture!) and pulls a wrap from a bag, and wanders over to the sink to get a drink, leaving their mess laying all over the area.
This skit went over really well, and was much more funny to see than to read. The combination of the dorky “Dominate” reading the monologue and the rest of us hamming it up in the back ground was hysterical, and we all found it nearly impossible to keep a straight face. We all received many thanks for presenting a needed topic in a fun and informative way.
Please feel free to use or adapt it as you wish for your own events.
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