Answers

By: Salura Category: Letters & Transcripts Date: Jul 22 2008, 2:40 pm

Actually, the good looking part’s subjective. I’ve always preferred what’s between the ears as a playground rather than a toned body or whatever. On a kink level, I feast upon reactions. The many different acts I talk about in the profile express my part in those actions but it’s the female’s response to them that is why I do them.

Her interests, her passions, all of the complex things that make her fascinating, they’re the parts that add value to all of it. Slapping around vacant flesh has absolutely no appeal to me. Tormenting and abusing someone who finds it all passé is better, but only so much so. Where the sadist in me revels is in climbing inside someone’s mind, finding everything that makes her unique and special as a play thing and toying with every one of those parts of her.

I realize you’re also talking of relationships. I deliberately avoided that because, honestly, I’ve always thought it was a pretty cheap tactic when guys promise the relationships they know people are aching for, just to lure them in.

I have enjoyed, and continue to enjoy, the whole spectrum of interactions. Some are hot, heavy, hard, physical interactions. Some are friendships with occasional kink interactions. And, yes, others have become something much deeper, intimate and connected. I am, honestly, at my happiest with a girl curled around my feet, knowing I can take her out and share my photography with her when I want that, have her listen to my guitar playing or spend a night in a hot tub discussing our philosophies on whatever may come up. The aggressive edge doesn’t disappear but it does build in to that foundation of vastly more as well.

Like I said though, I think it’s pretty cheap to just throw out the “best case” and know you’re luring people in with it. That’s one aspect of who I am, one way I enjoy interacting. It’s also something that only clicks in to place with some of the people I do play with. Given that it’s not the sole thing I’m offering, I’d rather put the general out there and let people enjoy more if it comes rather than imply more is on offer than they’ll necessarily get.

I absolutely do. I was at a private play party. We went at it incredibly hard and fast. Within less than five minutes, we’d emptied the main room as what I was doing, along with her screams, seemed to have everyone finding a sudden need to be somewhere else.

Our safeword and limit negotiation, in that case, would have freaked out many in the community but it worked for us. When she told me she was about to need to safe, I laughed and told her I wasn’t done yet. When she warned me she was about to pass out, ice cold water was dumped over her and we kept going. When she told me again, a few minutes, she was close to needing to safe, I did bring things to a close.

It’s curious to me. I’ve always held the belief that the individual experiencing things knows when they’re at the point of harm better than any dominant who thinks they can read them and know when enough is enough. Ultimately however, she did know about the “release” code and could have stopped things, albeit for a high price. Instead, we played exceptionally hard, way passed where a traditional scene may have stopped, but still stopped at that fine line between really hurting and actually harming.

It took her another three hours to come down enough to be safe to drive and she spent the next day happily curled at my feet. I’ll take that as a sign of someone who knew what they were getting themselves in to, who was pushed incredibly hard, but ultimately cared for, the scene stopped when it had gone far enough rather than taken to the destructive place it could have.

So, in answer: Yes, there’s a world of difference. I’ll play very hard and very heavy. I’ll scare, terrify and push just over that edge of “oh shit, this really is real!” – and yet it’s about going to that edge and then knowing when to stop rather than truly blasting through it.

Being who I am, I’m never going to leave someone who’s come apart to their own devices. At its simplest, that means I’m going to be spending days putting them back together again afterwards. In almost every case, I can achieve what I want and leave things with hours rather than days or weeks of dedicated aftercare needed. So, a little disorientation is fine, hot even, but outright broken… I’m not callous enough to just walk away and I’m selfish enough to generally not want the consequences.

Then there’s the notion of stripping someone down, truly breaking them so you can build them up in your own image. I’m sure that’s a very hot fantasy for a lot of people but, honestly, why would that be interesting? If there’s nothing worth keeping of the mind that was there before, why bother with them in the first place? Short of someone simply being a very hot body and there being fun notions of what a new mind in it might be like – that’s an awful lot of effort for someone you have no connection with – and I’ve already talked about how little hot bodies mean to me.

We seem to be coming to a few core types of broken: Callous disregard (I do actually enjoy my playthings, I’m just willing to use them harder than most). Playing too hard and having to pick up the pieces (I’m lazy enough, that usually doesn’t interest me). Breaking to reshape (I prefer to tweak with training, not blank and restart).

I can see how my profile implies a callousness. Honestly, that’s somewhat deliberate as the mental dimension is that much hotter when a girl knows I’m willing to go where I need to. For me, it lessens things when I threaten all kinds of dark acts but everyone knows I’ll never go there. I want to have it out there that, yes, scary things will happen, they’ll sometimes be harder, harsher, crueler, meaner than you might feel ready for… yet, ultimately, I do like my toys intact so I can play with them the next day.


Taken from an email I had gotten not from here.