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Dah Fuq?
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By:
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Race |
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Mood:
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Confused |
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Date:
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Jul 10 2012, 1:22 am |
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Music:
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None |
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BAAAMMM! BAABAAAAMMMM!!
These were two of the painful sounds that could be heard as Dick Morrison’s fists made contact with the weak metal of the soldiers’ armor. Fist-shaped imprints were left on the torsos of two of the men; the third man screamed in agony as Dick grabbed that little thing on the guy’s helmet that went down the nose, bent it backward, and jabbed the end into an unshielded eye. “OH YEEEAAAAH!” Dick shouted triumphantly, sounding kind of like the Kool-Aid Man.
Just as the other two soldiers stumbled over and and offered little tissues they had in their back pockets to their friend to cover his wound, Dick swiftly punched both of them and the neck at the same time; they dropped to the ground instantly. Dick placed a foot on either of their heads and leapt up on top of them, hands on his hips and perfect hair blowing in the apparently ever-existent wind.
“OH YEEEAAAAH!” he bellowed again for good measure.
Just then the door burst open again, however, totally killing Dick’s good mood. When someone killed Dick’s good mood, he killed them. Dick bolted at whoever was about to enter the room, not giving them time to apologize or explain anything. Some heads were going to roll.
”Wait, wait!” cried a small voice from the door.”GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAuhhhhh…?” Dick’s menacing trademark roar faltered and, completely not expecting his nemesis to be so squeaky-sounding, he fell face first onto the ground; or at least he would if he was a dummy.
Instead he rolled a short way when he hit the floor and sprung to his feet in front of the door with the finesse of one of those bendy gymnasts.There, cowering in the corner of the doorway, was a monkey.
At first Dick was tempted to go into caring mode; his fingers itched to cradle the poor little creature and his lips twitched anxiously, the need to softly whisper a lullaby almost overpowering him. But then Dick remembered that this monkey talked, which meant it must have at least some knowledge of independence and responsibility, and shit got real again.
FUCKING. WOW. ...
Lol ok, for those of you whom have no idea what the fuck just happend, here is your membership card and your name tag, *shakes hand* welcome to the club. I found this gem of writing on the net while I was waiting for my morphine to kick in as it should. It comes from a story called Dong Master 2... which was so horrible sounding I HAD to click on it. Oh my waffle iron weilding jedi elvis, what have I done?
I couldnt stop laughing or reading. I thought I would share.
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