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As long as you can get laid, it's all good,....
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By:
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MinofSin
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Mar 21 2010, 1:45 pm
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Music:
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None
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I lost a lot of respect for someone last night. And it's sad, because while I still think this person is an overall good guy, my respect level for him took a nose dive.
We had a conversation about an event he attended, and he crowed about it, mainly because he got laid lot at the event. However, the organizers of the event are problematic. To the point that the organizers are an example of a lot of things that are wrong and dangerous about the BDSM community.
This is someone who has been involved in the BDSM scene for probably upwards of 15-20 years, has seen a lot and knows a lot of people. On the whole, this person has a pretty good reputation with some of the older guard of the scene while younger folks don't know him all that well.
He's very familiar with the organizers of the above named event. To the point, they all used to be quite good friends. But he saw, first hand, what the organizers did to people. The threats, the unsafe practices, the bullying, the outing. He's seen a lot of it. Even helped put several people back together after it was all done.
So I asked him, how could he continue to support an organization which he knows first hand has committed egregious practices, harmed a number of people, caused immense bullshit. I asked him does he think that his attendance of the events shows a measure of support for the organizers.
He said to me, "Well, yeah, I see it. But my dick doesn't, and that is who I listen to."
While I applaud his honesty and laughed, I said to him that I can't respect a position like that. This person has no problem getting laid. And I don't think the prospect of new or interesting pussy is enough to ignore the harm that this organization has done to so many people in our community.
He gave me a bunch of justifications, but it came down to the fact that it is a good event where he can always get laid. And for him, that is reason enough.
During the conversation, I was reminded of a posting I read a few weeks ago where someone was talking about the problems with certain individuals in the community, people who are problem and dangerous players, and why it is problematic that these individuals are continually invited to present at events and give education workshops, all because they have built up a good name for themselves. This posting went on and on why this was a problem.
And I thought to myself, "You're full of shit." Because this same person, while calling out the community for supporting certain individuals (I am fairly certain it was aimed at one person in particular), is a regular presenter at the above referenced event. The organizers of the above referenced event have caused MUCH more harm than the individual (I think) he was referring to. But the event pays it's presenters well, and gives them some nice little perks. And, as many people say, "it's a really good event."
Ideally, I know that people are going to do what they are going to do. But I guess I am just really tired of hearing people talk out of both sides of their mouths. I wonder what would happen if the person I referenced originally went to the event and didn't get laid. Would that cause him to stop being supportive of the event?
It's funny. For as much as people talk about issues of honor and respect and integrity and this community, I am learning that is really comes down to money and sex. If you can get enough money, people will present almost anywhere. Or if you can be sure you are going to get your brains fucked out, you'll go to almost any event.
Never mind that by giving these organizations our money, we are basically allowing these types of individuals to act with impunity, simply because they put on a good event. By financially supporting these events, we say, "I don't give a fuck that you have hurt people and destroyed the lives of others (or attempted to), just give me a good event where I can have fun!"
Because it's all about our own personal fun. It's all about having a good time. Nothing else matters. Other people don't matter. The harm that is potentially committed doesn't matter. We justify it away. We turn a blind eye. We ignore things. We don't look critically at these issues. We talk to the people affected, we hear all the stories. But we don't care. Because at the end of the day, what matters is what is in our bank account or that next good orgasm.
So it's kind of sad. I will never look at this person the same way. He always presented himself as something else to me. And while we all have our faults, and again, I respect his honesty in stating his intentions, with the first hand knowledge that he has, that he can throw it all away for the prospect of pussy, well it's sad.
But what's even worse is how many other people will do the exact same thing.
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