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Security and Control
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By:
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slavejessie
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Mood:
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Other
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Date:
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Jul 24 2008, 8:02 pm
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Music:
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None
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Discussed insecurity with my therapist last night. He told me that i need to stop worrying about Master leaving me, to just put that one thing to rest, leave that one anxiety behind me. i asked - wouldn't that mean that i was taking the relationship for granted, and he said n, that it would give me even more energy to focus on the relationship and that the energy would come from desire and happiness rather than fear, which is healthier for me and a better motivator besides.
He told me that all master has ever done is step up every time i need him, no matter what the choice and that it is clear that Master would always choose me over everything else and to accept that - much as i always choose him over everything else. We aren't going to leave each other and being secure on that one thing will give me something to build on in the way of my body image and self-esteem.
This makes me happy. i've been moving in that direction anyway until i got knocked off my wagon.
Something to build on...
Not everything is fleeting...
That challenges what i know or rather what past experience has taught me.
It's hard to make lasting relationships when things are constantly yanked from under you as a kid, when your only relationships are codependent and dysfunctional.
Something to build on.
Things don't have to be fleeting...
Foundations might be stable.
It's a heady thought.
Even more heady is that thought that i'm worth that kind of dedication, that's one i've almost managed to grasp.
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