There will always be people that come in and out of your life, and we think to ourselves... this is the one. This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've been with enough people in my lifetime to know for sure that the path, experiences and travel that led me to this area, was to find Master.
It was here, away from family and friends, away from distraction and judgement, that I was able to delve into my own soul, and seek what it was I was missing in life. I grew as a submissive woman, realizing submitting to Another took courage, strength and conviction, far beyond anything a weak, needy, insecure woman could handle. I do believe this is why so many sub/slaves bounce around, noncommitted, always being the brat, because they are not secure in themselves, therefore not secure in the choices they make for themselves, including Who they give themselves to in submission. That insecurity will only be cause for failure, not only in the relationship, but in realizing what they truly need and want out of life.
I personally have come full circle. I've seen what is out there, knowing what I know now, I would have held onto Master the first time around. I would have never looked elsewhere. But life is funny that way, and my own insecurities kept me from seeing what I deserved and had to have in my life.
We all make mistakes, and have poor judgement throughout life. Master Himself has "kicked himself" for seeking elsewhere as well, but just as He understood my need to keep moving forward, I in turn understand why He did what He did. Most couples would not have been able to have the discussions W/we've had over the years without yelling, arguing, fighting, and silence. I had my moment of weakness once, but it was something that I passionately believed had to be done for all parties involved.
Master asked me today if I see myself still married in 5 years. He has never been that forward with me, and I have to admit, it caught me off guard. I know W/we both struggle sometimes seeing O/our current marriages to other people have their breakdowns, and not being able to step in and "save the day", but through it all, I do believe it has kept U/us on a path of communication, determination, love and commitment to O/one another.
Only time will tell what paths O/our lives will take, but I do know this in my heart and mind...Master J IS my Soulmate. I was put on this earth to experience life, and at the end of the day, kneel at His feet, sit on His lap, or be curled up at His side, to serve and love Him. He is ALL things to and for me, and I happily and with every fiber of my being, love, honor and cherish being His slave, and for this, I feel like the luckiest woman on earth.
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Master J's reply to this entry...........
The ancient Greeks believed that when the gods first created humans that there were no male and female. Each person had both and were so happy the gods grew jealous of how happy and contend humans were. The gods final were so envious that they seperated humans into male and female and in the process divided the human soul into 2 parts. They then scattered the people around the world so that the 2 halves could not find each other. This way humans would no longer be content and always searching for the missing part of their soul. This was the reason people were restless and always seeking the missing part of themsleves.
On rare occasions the 2 halfs would find each other and then being reunited, would once again know the joy, peace and contentment that comes from being whole again.
I do not know if the Greeks had it right about the gods but I do know they understood what it is like between 2 people who have connected on every level and the power of the Love that grows between people whose sould have become one.
I have seen the power of a Love like that. I know the joy , peace and contentment of being made whole because my slave has completed the missing parts of my soul and I have completed her, together W/we are as the Greeks believed, a whole person.
A few years ago I didnt believe Love was anything special and could not understand why since the beginning of human history the written word, song, art so many people had dedicated so much time and effort to express the feeling of Love. I was a man of the world, educated and traveled and saw the same thing in every corner of the world As I studied history, every culture from the begining praised the power and intensity of Love and I just could not see why they did so.
But then one day, I stood before an apartment door in Huntington waiting for it to open. When that door opened my life changed in a flash. I looked into the eyes of my (feira) for the first time and suddenly my heart and soul knew what the ancient Greeks knew so long ago. I became a whole person that day, for the first time in my life I knew what peace, joy and contentment was and I first felt the power that Love truly has to change peoples lives.
Today the joy, contentment and Love I felt that first day has grown 1000 fold and continues to grow everyday. Together W/we are a whole, soulmates bound together by Love, respect and joy for eternity.
Master J
my Master, my Soulmate
