Final out for the military was yesterday. Right now I'm holding my medical records hostage until I can take them somewhere less expensive than Kinkos to copy them.

I'm actually a little depressed right now. Another job prospect fell through completely this time, as of yesterday. Apparently I missed one of the postings on USAJobs for an ER paramedic and didn't put my app in, so I missed the interview list. I put in for another one, but it doesn't close out until September. Not to mention that I failed the physical agility test for fire rescue dept that's number one on my list for employment last Saturday, so my next opportunity to take it is October 10th. A good thing, because I need the time to prepare, but it will be that much longer before I get hired. So I have no idea what I'm going to do about employment at the end of this month.

Have to move out of my apartment at the end of next month, and that's causing major stress as well. Was planning on moving in with R, but the townhouse he was planning to buy is now on shaky ground, for a number of different reasons. So that's up in the air too, ugh.

Good news is that I joined the Golds Gym here, and will be able to transfer my membership when I move, and I've been working out everyday. Hopefully I can get back in shape and get strong enough to pass the damn physical agility test by October, we'll see. I'm doing cardio everyday. Found out that I've been working too hard running lately, and have been pushing my heart rate into the anaerobic zone, which isn't what I want. So walking on the treadmill or biking or elliptical keeping my heart rate between 143-153 has been the goal for cardio lately. I'm doing 45 minutes on my cardio days, 3-5 sets of 3 minutes on the step mill with my weight vest on and then 30 on another cardio machine, with warm up and cooldowns. (The part of the firefighter test I failed is a 3 minute test walking on a rolling staircase at 60 steps per minute with a 75 lb weight vest. My vest is 40lbs right now, and I can work it up to 50 lbs and hold dumbells for the other 25lbs when I get there.) Weight days are 20 minutes of cardio and then however long it takes for me to get through the 8 machines that do my total body weight workout. I need to figure out a way to do abdominal workouts everyday as well.

The next hassle is going to be reworking my eating habits again. My sweet tooth is out of control. I went to the grocery store last night and bought a ton of healthy stuff, now I've just got to make the meals and have the discipline to start working out 5-6 small meals a day instead of 2 big ones. UGH! I've got 30 lbs to lose, exercise alone isn't going to do it.

Had a good massage the other day, found out that my right shoulder needs some work, so I'm going back in two weeks. It was definitely nice to get on a massage table again. I'm such a puddle of goo afterwards.

Have gotten to play a few times lately. Had a really good night at the club the other night. Ran around in my lovely latex for a little while, and then had two good scenes with R. One on the spanking bench and then one on one of the St Andrews crosses later that night. I was totally in subspace by the end of the cross scene. We curled up for a few minutes and I was out cold. Totally peaceful and man did it feel good. We ordered a big chunk of books for both of us, so that should be educational as soon as they get here.

On another side note, I'm looking to get some fetish photography done. If anyone has suggestions as to who I should talk to photographer wise, or even suggestions as to shots that would be yummy for me, let me know.

K, enough rambling for now. Teaser: I'm beginning an erotic short story as part of an assignment from R that I've neglected to complete. I'll be sharing it and open to feedback....more to come!