Note: Please excuse the long delay if I don't answer messages, friend requests etc. My online participation is currently mostly dormant because right now I lack the time, but I'm looking forward to being back reading and writing here again later. :)
Living in Southern Germany. I go by the name of Ranai. Interested in conversations with friends and acquaintances, learning, ideas and experiences, networking, making new friends. Interested in kinky fiction.
A dominant woman. In a long term relationship with the man who is my submissive, lover and partner.
No, I'm not really 97 years old.
My star sign is actually
Telescopium: the telescope, a constellation in the southern skies. It is the star sign of those who enjoy looking at stars as stars, and are interested in people as people. Among the things I enjoy are astronomical photos, so the avatar I've chosen is a nebula in the Small Magellanic Cloud. The
European Southern Observatory calls it Really Hot Stars.
How is BDSM part of my life? It took me a while to figure out that my fascination with attractive men in submissive situations (in the widest sense of the word) pointed towards an interest in BDSM. Since my knowledge of real life possibilities in that area was sadly lacking, or obscured by vague prejudices, I set out to educate myself. Which is an ongoing project; I'm always interested in learning more, whether it is about things that appeal to my individual inner desires, or about things that don't appeal to me but are enjoyable to other people.
Since I opened myself to my male partner and introduced him to kinky activities, we have found out to our mutual joy that he loves submitting to me in matters erotic, enabling me to live out the dominant and sadistic aspects of my nature. We continue learning together and exploring new things - or, of course, repeating things that turn us on and resonate with us.
I am sexually dominant and a sadist. This means: I get off on being the one who decides what happens. I am sexually attracted to a man's submission. My partner's submission is beautiful to me. Giving my partner pain in an erotic context and savouring his reactions makes me fly high. His talent for submission is part of what makes him so sexy and desirable. His willingness to let me explore the possibilities of his masochism, his willingness to endure discomfort and pain for my sake, goes right into my heart. I love it when he submits to having his movement taken away, with bondage or just because I say so, making himself vulnerable. I love it when he does something he is reluctant to do, just for me, bending his will to my will.
Since I started doing BDSM with my partner, my dominant and sadistic interests can blend into our interaction any time we get into a sexual mood. Whether they show up or not is unpredictable. We just go with the flow. We enjoy having various forms of sex together. The sadomasochistic side we have is never completely excluded, if only in the background as a potential. In terms of who decides what happens, with my partner's willing consent and within his limits, and because it corresponds to our sexuality, that would be me. I don't make a sharp distinction between my vanilla and my not-so-vanilla moods. One moment we are kissing and snuggling, the other moment I grab is hair and hold his head still while I spit into his mouth. One moment I'm beating his ass, the other moment when I feel like it, I lie down next to him and embrace him. Doing BDSM means our repertoire has expanded. It also means that we can eroticise interaction that is not overtly sexual on the surface, if it touches our dominant and submissive feelings.
Getting into kink we have touched individual inner potential which each of us had, that was not yet explicitly realised. I feel very fortunate that it turned out my partner had this inner potential, and consents to explore with me. Dominance and submission is something we do together, something we feel inside for each other, something we call up and immerse ourselves in, something that happens to us. Symbols are part of our erotic interaction; when he kneels down and kisses my feet we get turned on by creating and feeling a difference of status, by the expression of his devotion, even though on another level we know that we are equals and regard each other as such. Being a masochist can be unsettling. Being a sadist can be scary. I need his feedback and reassurance and emotional support just as much as he needs mine. We enjoy each other's companionship and the intimacy we share. So, in addition to being lovers and partners, we are sadomasochists and get turned on by dominance and submission in an erotic context.
Looking forward to staying in touch with friends and acquaintances, and meeting new people. I'm not looking, not interested in dating, and not interested in online play with anyone. I am happy to make the acquaintance of others who are in some way into BDSM and/or fetishes, regardless whether we share any particular interests or not.
If you would like to make an "add to friends" request, please accompany it with a short message. I welcome new friendships, but would like people to take the time to read my profile text first.
As English isn't my native language, what I write may at times contain the odd weird phrasing or wording; you are welcome to let me know if you'd recommend editing something. I find that internet resources can be good for learning from others - if approached with an open but critical mind, and taken with a grain of salt. Here on MyDungeonSpace, I participate mostly on
the Discussion Forum. (Navigation: In the top bar, hover your mouse over "Connect". In the drop down menu, select "Forum".) I'm also a member of
Fetish Lore ,
Collar N Cuffs and the
Bound Forum. I enjoy reading some kink related blogs and occasionally post a comment. If you do a web search for "Ranai + BDSM" or "Ranai Pahav" you should be able to find me. In forum discussions, I am very fond of genuine, open questions that inspire me to think and to possibly contribute something from my personal perspective.
Some links I find useful
BDSM Information Links: Ranai's Short List and
BDSM & Fetish: Information and Community Links incl. multilingual section
